Old MacDonald's Farm Diversification

J loves it when we sing Old MacDonald. He recognises the tune and sometimes even stops grizzling when either of us sing it. You join us mid-song after the verses on cat, dog, pig, duck, sheep, cow and chicken.

Me: ...and on that farm he had a... lion.
EE-I-EE-I-O.
With a roar roar here and a roar roar there,
here a roar, there a roar, everywhere a roar roar!
W: Old MacDonald has his own safari park by the sounds of it.
Me: You can't beat a bit of farm diversification in these straitened times.
W: You can probably get a government grant for that. What's next? A rhino?
Me: I've no idea what a rhino sounds like.
W: Neither do I.
Me: Mmm... (writer's note: you know the tune, I'm not treating you to it every time) ...and on that farm he had a golf course.
Both: EE-I-EE-I-O.
With a swing swing here and a putt putt there,
here a swing, there a putt, everywhere a hole in one... 
W: What else?
Me: Another one? Well...
...and on that farm he had a farm shop.
Both: EE-I-EE-I-O.
Me: With an organic cabbage here and an expensive jam there,
here a ker-ching!, there a ker-ching!, everywhere a ker-ching!
Old MacDonald had a farm.
Both: EE-I-EE-I-O .

The Magnificent Seven

J is getting more and more active every day, among other things.

W: He's very bouncy at the moment. He is actually trying to jump.
Me: Funny little guy. He's very climby too.
W: Bouncy and Climby and... Snotty.
Me: He is that.
W: We need more dwarf names!
Me: Spewy!
W: True. And a good attribute?
Me: Smiley!
W: Grabby too.
Me: He keeps grabbing my nose.
W: So what have we got?
Me: (listing on fingers) Bouncy, Climby, Snotty, Spewy, Smiley, Grabby and...
W: It needs to be something '-ful'.
Me: Full of beans?
W: Definitely, but not a great dwarf name.
Me: Oh! I know! I know!
W: What?
Me: Pooful.

Impasse

We're walking along a narrow section of pavement. Another couple are heading towards us with their own pushchair.

Me: (I'm pushing) Oh look, a pushchair just like ours. I'll let them go first.
W: Very nice of you.

It takes time for them to negotiate the path and we wait what seems like a minute as they approach and then pass.

Man: Thanks!
Me: No problem.

They are safe distance away.

W: That wasn't like ours...
Me: No?
W: No, ours is better.

A little healthy competition never hurt anyone.

Iron Baby

At the risk of sounding like a Fisher Price advert, we have bought a Jumperoo.

W: He needed the Jumperoo. His brain was getting ahead of his body. He was launching himself everywhere.
Me: Now he can do it safely. The nearest thing to being Robert Downey Jnr in Iron Man.
W: Eh?
Me: He now has an exoskeleton he can use to become the ultimate hero.
W: That's one way of viewing it.
Me: Well he's not going to start battling supervillains or anything...
W: I just like the way he bounces and plays and then looks up and smiles brightly as if to say 'Did you see what I just did?'
Me: It is very cute.
W: Very very cute.