Performance

All the world is a stage and we are merely players. At least, that's how it felt when I went on my first solo mission to a nearby coffee shop with J recently. 

Me: (lifting J out of his pushchair onto my lap) There you go.

A nearby pensioner couple notices us.

Old lady: Hello! How are you?
Me: I'm fine thanks. How are you?
Old lady: No, I meant him.
Me: Oh, I see....

I should get used to that. There's a pause - is she waiting for an answer?

Me: (half-pretending to be J, lifting his hand and everything) I'm fine thank you!
Old lady: Aw, he's sweet. How old is he?
Me: Nearly six months.

This script feels very familiar

Old lady: He's very active.
Me: He likes looking around. We come here a lot.
Old lady's husband: He comes to see the ladies eh?
Me: Well... I don't think...
Old lady's husband: Yes, that's what he does. 

We are rapidly going off-script.

Me: I think he just likes to look around and see what's new.
Old lady's husband: Exactly! To see the nice waitresses! 

It's funny how we attribute so many different thoughts and intentions to a little baby. More on this later.