How to Scare a Baby (unintentionally)

We don't go out much, so we thought we'd treat ourselves to a car wash.

W: What are we in for?
Me: The full works - double foam wash, wheel scrub, full wax and chasis clean.
W: Pushing the boat out eh?
Me: The car gets dirty on the open road.
W: (suppressing laughter) The M3 to Basingstoke is not 'the open road'. You make it sound like Route 66.
Me: And?
W: Well, it's not is it?
Me: A guy can dream.

W manoeuvres the car into position and we watch as foam sprays the side of the car. Then it's the turn of the brushes. J, in his car seat, looks worried.

W: Don't worry. It's just a car wash. It's making everything nice and clean.

J is not convinced.

W: (nudging me) Look at this will you. Poor little man.

Me: (looking around at J) Don't worry Mister. It's OK.

J looks uncertain, apprehensive even.

W: Now I know how they make children look frightened in those disaster movies. They film them in a car wash, then green-screen it and add the appropriate background.

Spielberg's got nothing on our (inadvertent) techniques.