I've had some interesting conversations while having my hair cut (here and here for example). This one, with an assistant who was washing my hair the other day, got a little competitive.
Assistant: So, you doing anything for Christmas?
Me: We're having a family Christmas.
Assistant: You got any kids?
Me: Yes, a little boy.*
Assistant: How old? That water warm enough?
Me: Great, thank you. Three and a half months.
Assistant: Aw! So it will be his first Christmas?
Me: Yes.
Pause as I wonder if that is the end of the conversation about children? Because now you've got me started...
Me: You know, this morning when he woke up, I could have sworn he was bigger than last night.
Assistant: A friend of mine, she's got kids. She says that her kid was, like, top percentage or something? Essentially, if there were a hundred kids in the room of that age, he would be in the top five.
Me: My boy's in the 98th percentile for height. 99th for head size.
Assistant: My brother's head was off the chart. Massive.
Me: Was he OK?
Assistant: Yeah, think so.
Me: Good.
Assistant: Should be. He's 19 now.
Pause as that probably is the end of the conversation about children.
Me: So, has it been busy in here over the Christmas period....?
Notes
*It always gives me enormous happiness to answer that question. It's like a little batch of fireworks bursting in my head every single time.
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