The Masterplan of Little J

W walks into the nursery as I've just finished changing little J. 

W: I've noticed you nearly always leave the top button of his babygrow undone.
Me: He's getting longer by the day - when the outfits are a little tight, I like to think this helps. Gives him room to breathe.
W: May be.
Me: And I guess it makes him look a little cooler.
W: So it's a fashion thing?
Me: I don't do my own top button up. That would just look weird.
W: (smiles) Just the right kind of casual look eh?
Me: Exactly.

Pause as we look down at the baby smiling back at us.

Me: Also...
W: Yeah?
Me: ...it reminds me of a Bond villain. Blofeld for example.
W: I think I see where this is going.
Me: That a bald chap with his top button done up equals the hatching of a masterplan to take over the world?
W: More or less.
Me: It's worth considering. You've seen how he strokes his soft toys...
W: Sleep, a nappy change or milk - that's the extent of his ideas and even then there seems to be little sign of forward planning.
Me: I'm not saying he's an evil genius or anything.
W: No?
Me: But just think of the fringe benefits - an island of our own, a big world map on the wall and we could use the deadly lasers to slice the loaf from the breadmaking machine.
W: Heh! I like it - middle class Bond villain parents.